You can tell the people you are close to your thoughts, but they aren't necessarily explained exactly as you think them. Also maybe they are interpreted differently than what you are trying to express.

Then there are the people themselves. How often do you meet someone and say "Hi, how are you?" and how often have people said that to you? Have you ever answered that question and watched as that person's mind wanders away, not really listening to what you are saying? It is because it is just a polite question in which no one really wants an answer.

People mostly don't want to know about your aches and pains unless they are good friends or family. Even they sometimes are just being polite, because they also have their own troubles on their mind. For their own troubles and concerns are more important to them just as yours are to you.

cont'd after this ad ...

This chapter is about, as Harry Lorayne states, "Curing the 'Private I' Complex."  So many of us are 'firmly imprisoned in that seemingly escape-proof cell of ego'. We are so into ourselves that we think the world revolves around us. Lorayne says this can be cured or at least 'arrested' by simply showing an interest in others.

This may be hard to believe, but to show an interest in others is something that you will have to force yourself to do. This is not a simple thing to do, just thinking to yourself, " well I am going to show an interest in others". Especially if you are in the habit of mostly thinking of your own interests above all else. Now don't go thinking that if you aren't really thinking of someone else's interests then you are being a hypocrite so you might as well forget it. That is a defeatist way of thinking or maybe even more self-centered. Habits are hard to break no matter what kind they are. It takes work and constant focus to break a habit.

Harry Lorayne suggests, " Try thinking of the other person as 'I' instead of he, she or they" In other words, 'put yourself in their shoes'. You will soon find that you really are interested in others.

Tolstoy, a well-known novelist, said, " We love people not for what they can do for us, but for what we can do for them." This shows that you are really interested in them and their welfare.

Dr. Albert Schweitzer also said about doing for others, that we find, " our secret source of true peace and lifelong satisfaction." So doing something for others will alleviate the emptiness you may be feeling as long as you are doing it in an unselfish manner.

You may fool others about your ulterior motive but you won't fool yourself so in the long run you will continue to be lonely. Would you want to spend time with someone who only thinks of him/herself? If your hang up is that you dislike other people it is more than likely you who should change.

To show interest in someone else instead of simply concentrating on yourself, you need to really listen to what they are saying. As you listen try to learn something from what they are saying. This takes focus and concentration and in focusing and concentrating, you are training your mind.

In conclusion, one more quote from Harry Lorayne, "The degree of interest that you show toward anyone or anything can be controlled. The way your mind controls that interest can change your entire life for the better." So, Go and Do it!

Lorayne starts each chapter with some kind of quote, this is from the third chapter, so until then ...

Psychiatrist: Well, I think I know how to solve your problem. You've got to be more enthusiastic; you need more get up and go; more gumption. You must throw yourself completely into your work. Incidentally, what sort of work do you do?
Patient: I'm a gravedigger!

Submitted by: Pat Downing
Copyright 2008 Pat Downing. All Rights Reserved. Duplication permitted only with copyright and  content unaltered.

Every since I can remember America has thoroughly embraced such maxims as "failure breeds success" and "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again".

And people are still willing to learn from those mistakes but something horrific has happened to failure itself.

From bank bailouts to coddling of our children, a growing number of critics are worrying that our society which is so obsessed with fairness and self-esteem, has forgotten the value gained from falling on your face - failure itself and the valuable lessons it teaches.

When banks, mortgage holders and car companies fail, we just print billions of dollars at an alarming rate.  They're too big to allow to fail!

This great aversion to failure is not something new either. It has been used in schools and youth sports activities for years now.

Think this isn't already a trend? Think about how many schools stopped giving "F's" and t-ball and soccer teams that don't keep score? Also, self-esteem programs so our youth feel good about themselves even when they can't even tell time on a non-digital clock!

We can't even have a single valedictorian in our high schools anymore since it damages our poor little children's self-esteem. Everyone cannot be first! You think high school, college and professional football would go for that?

Think maybe we're headed down the wrong road? According to Lawrence Kudlow, an economist and syndicated columnist "Is it possible in America today that no one is allowed to fail?"

Phil Gramm was right - we have become a nation of whiners! Nobody wants to believe that failure is even an option anymore! What's happened to personal responsibility? Or learn from your mistakes? Or handling difficulties that just might transform your life?

According to some, our biggest banks are just too big to fail and they automatically cry wolf now and beg for bailout money. Yet, they can spend upwards of many billions of dollars to buy another financial institution that's already suffered the same management mistakes aka failures only to maintain a status quo!

So is General Motors or Citicorp supposed to just go on endlessly existing? You might be led to think so - remember we coddle our kids - so why not our mismanaged businesses as well?

This nation was built upon many failures before we found success. The likes of Abraham Lincoln, Henry Ford and Thomas Edison. Even Harry Potter author, J. K. Rowling, was homeless from so many failures but today is a multi-millionaire. Where would Rowling be today if not for those many failures?

Here's a wonderful quote from Callom Jones, a local CPA and personal financial specialist: "If you don't fail, you'll never experience the exhilaration of winning. And if you don't fail, you'll never learn that to get to where you want to go you have to push yourself to get better. Those are critical lessons that failure teaches us. If you remove failure from children's lives, they'll never learn them."

That exact same argument can be used on the corporate level! Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer wrote in Slate.com that as well-intended the bailouts were, they're only perpetuated a fundamentally flawed status quo.

Imagine what happens to a kid's motivation, no matter how hard he works to succeed, if he always gets the same results as someone who doesn't work as hard?

Sounds like corporate America today! You take the motivation out of people and you're showing/teaching others they don't have to work to achieve what they want. This has perpetuated  a "You owe it to me " society - utter BS.

Remember that when your online business campaigns or plans fail, learn from those mistakes and go try again! Of course, the right mindset and proper training do help you eliminate the failures of those who came  before you (your mentors)!

Apply what you've learned and strive to achieve more!

Bottom line: failure is not an option - it's a necessity if we are to succeed and continue to achieve anything in life!

© Copyright 2009 George Culp - gofer
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